Why stem?

Boy! If I had a pound for every time I got asked that. Relatives, friends, some admissions committee members who I never met; people seemed interested in the reason why a young student would willingly want to attend a school with such strict regulations. As a matter of fact, the idea of a 15 year old boy living in a boys-only boarding school sounds somewhat a little extreme to me now as I think about it. I understand why others might be interested in knowing the reason why I got in and If I would still choose to do it if I had the chance to start all over again. Two years after graduating high school, I feel that I’m a little more equipped to put my reasons in a an organized way and actually articulate how I felt throughout that experience.

I want to start by giving a big shout out to all my high school friends and roommates. Honestly, If I was asked what is one thing you gained by going through all this in high school, the first thing I’d definitely say is my friends. A 150 students from all over Egypt provinces and somehow we all thought the same way and talked the same way and some might even argue we kinda looked the same. We were so much alike that I admittedly had a hard time adjusting to my college companions after I graduated high school. However, the coolest thing is that we didn’t like the same things, almost everyone had a hobby or a skill that no one else had, which made our gatherings so more fun and it got in handy when we participated in competitions.

The downside of hording 150 of the smartest students in one place is the UNBEARABLE peer pressure. Some people compare these three years to bein put through a grinding machine and they aren’t wrong. The times I actually managed to stop stressing out about me not being good enough or about college admissions throughout high school is probably countable on two hands. We were all given a chance of an elite college education and we were busting our asses off for it. I, personally, pulled numerous all nighters back to back with school days to do assignments, finish extracurricular work, or submit an application etc. I was so invested in this process that I didn’t even have time to notice how skinny I became. Although It was kind of a relief not having to look good all the time because that’s basically where I lived (and also because there were no girls around) but this just gave me enough reason to stop taking care of myself and how I looked. Yes, I did achieve so many things still residing in my resume that I wouldn’t have done otherwise, but regrettably I was a mess. A picture of me at that time could have easily been used with the phrase “The dark side of STEM schools” on it to frighten away anyone who wanted to apply to the school.

One of the things that helped me get through all this beside my friends was my teachers. I met some of the nicest and most helpful teachers I know there. These teachers seemed to understand the burden of living away from home and the huge mental stress we are going through, which made them soft on us and they became the people we turn to when life becomes too much yk. On the other hand, some of them would just wake up everyday and deliberately choose to be assholes. Truth is , they have all taught me valuable life lessons one way or another so there is no need to be bad mouthing anyone.

If you’ve asked my whole class what the worst part of school was, we’d probably all agree that it was the food and accomodation. Although, we were perfectly aware of how generously the school was being funded, but for two whole years that was never reflected on the food quality or the campus facilites. Make no mistake, we ate like pigs, but only because that’s the only food that was available and none of us could afford the luxury of ordering food everyday, so we made our peace with it. As for the accommodation, there were insects everywhere, many of the fans didn’t work, the room was a little small for three students to live in and it had no room for chairs so we could only study on our beds and we had to bring our own tables, the pillows and mattresses that they provided were yellow and disgusting so most of us had to bring their own too. I remember one very hot night when we all had to pick our mattresses and go sleep in the gym because that was the only place beside the classrooms that had an AC. I remember another time, we had to protest -yes, we went on a strike and refused to go to classes- because the water has been cut off for more than two days. It is also funny that, until my last day of school, I had my sugar jar put on a plate filled with water in my closet so that ants couldn’t reach it. There is plenty of other weird living conditions’ stories, but luckily, things have started to look up and many facilities were renewed or repaired but that was by the end of our last year in school so we, sadly, didn’t get to enjoy it long enough.

One of the toughest things about STEM is the amount of uncertainty and disappointments you’re faced with in what’s considered the most important year of high school: the final one. I started the US colleges admission process almost a whole year before the deadlines by studying and taking standarized and language tests. Normally, based off of the results you are faced by a choice. You either settle for the scores you got or you bust your ass off for another two or three months in hopes of getting a better score. However, due to covid I was already too late behind and I had no option but to settle with what I got. There was then the matter of choosing the college I’ll apply to, which basically settles your admission decision by 70% since you have the highest chance of being admitted in the first cycle in November. After some college search, I chose one, and wrote the essays. Everything was so smooth and I couldn’t contain my excitment. However, he early admission cycle’s decisions were released one month later in December and turns out I chose wrong for I was rejected. At this point I was a little stressed and disappointed but I had 19 other chances so it didn’t look that bad for me yet. I shaked it off and started writing the essays again and working on everything I wrote in my application and I made a more in depth college search. “That has to be it,” I thought to myself but for the second time I was rejected. My heart skipped a beat as I stared into the decision. I lost my two biggest chances of fulfilling the one thing I’ve wanted ever since I got into this school, and the final exams were getting closer and I hadn’t started studying yet. Everything was collapsing. It was too hard for me to give up on applying to the US when there is still even the hint of a chance for me, so I pulled myself together and decided I’m going to apply to as much as US and non US colleges as I can, and will delay studying for after. Once I was certain I couldn’t spare anymore time, I finally started studying by march, and I had as little as four months to prepare for the final exams. However, before long, the regular admission cycle’s decisons were out. 18 colleges I had applied to, and 17 rejections and one waitlist I had recieved. It was so devastating to me to the extent that it still haunts me to this day. The fact that my efforts througout three years went down the drain just like that. I, by a what I think cannot be less than a godly miracle, managed to turn stoic at least until the final exams ended, but I believe, on some level, these successive disappointments have scarred me for good.

To sum up, I’ve experienced a lot of things in STEM, dealt with different kinds of people, lived away from home in a room with two people I’ve never lived with before, been put under mental stress I’ve never experienced before. However, I experienced personal growth like never before. Academically, all the extracurriculars and skills I’ve learnt have given me a huge headstart over all of my college companions. Even the failures have helped me get my priorities right and changed my mindset completely. You probably thought I was listing advantages and disadvantages of getting into STEM, but the truth is, these are all reasons to get in. I am happy with the man I am today and I don’t think I would have If I had it easy back in high school. I am glad of the whole experience as it is and I wouldn’t change a thing about it, and yes, If somehow I’ve gone back in time a hundred times I’d do It all over again the hundred times.